River: A Christmas Fic
by elphabachan
Summary: She wishes she could skate away.


A/N: Okay, I guess I lied about my ManhattanVerse series. I was inspired by the song RIVER and wrote a sad little Christmas fic that takes place in my rendition of that bleak 1979 Christmas season. Those of you who have read my prior ManhattanVerse work know what I mean by this. So here is a sad little holiday fic to my favorite holiday song. But hey, my season 9 is coming along and isn't NEARLY as angsty as this (plus the new chapter goes up Wednesday!).

Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW nor RIVER by Joni Mitchell (though I prefer the Sarah McLachlan version).

**River**

_It's coming on Christmas  
They're cutting down trees  
They're putting up reindeer  
And singing songs of joy and peace  
Oh I wish I had a river  
I could skate away on._

Jackie lay under the Christmas tree at her mother's house, looking up at the lights through the branches. She used to do this when she was a child, mesmerized by the lights and filled with joy. But tonight, Christmas Eve, she was not mesmerized, nor was she happy. She stared at the lights, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her mother was already asleep after too much eggnog so she was alone in her grief. Jackie remembered being so excited for Christmas and the presents that came with it, but not this year. It had been the worst Christmas she had ever had. She pulled herself out from under the tree, and wiped her eyes. Christmas Carols were playing on the radio, the usual sappy stuff she would play over and over again. But now, she turned off the radio, and slipped on her boots and coat. She needed to take a drive on this Christmas Eve.

_But it don't snow here  
It stays pretty green  
I'm going to make a lot of money  
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene  
I wish I had a river  
I could skate away on  
I wish I had a river so long  
I would teach my feet to fly  
Oh I wish I had a river  
I could skate away on._

Hyde said his goodnights to the Foremans, and told Sam he'd be right up to bed. But instead he sat in the basement, drinking by himself. He had a small bruise under his eye, where Jackie had hit him. He knew he deserved it, but that didn't stop his bitterness. He wished that he hadn't said what he had, that he never loved her and she was just an easy lay, but what was done was done and he couldn't change it. Besides, it finally got her away from him. He sighed, and leaned back on the couch. Sam had given him his gift that night, which was really for her as it was Mrs. Claus lingerie that he found ridiculous. But she liked it, so he pretended to. It just wasn't very sexy getting into bed with Mrs. Claus. His gift to her was generic chocolates that she probably wouldn't eat anyway. He just didn't know what she wanted. He reached under the couch, and pulled out the little wrapped box he'd placed there a few nights prior. It was going to go under the tree, but he decided against it after the party.

He walked up the steps, and threw on a coat and scarf. He needed a drive.

_I made my baby cry  
She tried hard to help me  
You know, she put me at ease  
And she loved me so naughty  
Made me weak in the knees  
Oh I wish I had a river  
I could skate away on_

Jackie stopped her car by the elementary school hockey rink, and grabbed her skates from the back seat. She jumped out of her car, and walked slowly to the ice. She sat, and laced up her skates. As she hit the ice, she closed her eyes. She loved the freedom that came with ice skating, it made her feel like she was floating. She skated out to the middle, and awkwardly twirled on her shoddy old skates. She slipped a little, and landed on her butt. She laughed a little bit, and more tears fell. But she wiped them away, and continued to skate. She looked up at the clear night, and stared up at the stars.

"Merry fucking Christmas," she muttered, and leaned back on the ice tranquilly. She thought about Hyde, and the Christmases they had spent in happier times. He always knew what she wanted, and her gifts were always perfect for him. It used to be so romantic when they would exchange presents, and then make love. She missed that, and wished that he hadn't moved on. Wished that she could. Knew that she had to. It began to gently snow, and she let more tears slip from her eyes.

Hyde was sitting in his car, trying to decide what he wanted to do. Her car wasn't there, at midnight she was out. He was relieved, but slightly melancholy about this. What could he have said had she been home?

_I'm so hard to handle  
I'm selfish and I'm sad  
Now I've gone and lost the best baby  
That I ever had  
Oh I wish I had a river  
I could skate away on  
I wish I had a river so long  
I would teach my feet to fly  
Oh I wish I had a river_

_I made my baby say goodbye_

Jackie stood up and skated more, as snow began to fall. She closed her eyes, and took it all in. For the first time this holiday season she felt at peace. She hummed, and skated circles around the rink, finding her inner peace and wondering if it was Christmas doing it to her. After all, it was now officially Christmas day. She smiled to herself, and jumped on the ice. Her skates caught, and she didn't fall despite the dull blades. She left loopy lines on the ice, and looked at the snow falling on her. She held her arms out, and smiled genuinely. She pretended that for this one moment she could just skate away from her problems and fears, and that her heart was mended and swelling. Even if it was just for the one moment, it felt slightly better.

She drove home, and parked her car in the driveway. She knew that when she woke up she'd be an emotional wreck again, and that this hurt wouldn't heal just like that, but at least for now she felt at ease. She closed the door, and walked up to the front door of the house.

On the front stoop was a small box. She tilted her head, and picked it up. She unwrapped it, and saw no tag or indication of who it was from. She opened the box, and then smiled again. Inside the box was a small glass unicorn ornament. She put her hand to her mouth, and held in the tears as best she could. Whoever it was from, it touched her deeply. She walked into the house, and placed it on the Christmas tree. She smiled a little, and went to bed.

Hyde sat in his car down the road, and saw her open the gift. Her reaction nearly broke his heart. He waited for her to go inside, and started up his car.

"Merry Christmas, Jackie," he muttered, and drove back towards home. The snow kept falling, and he wished it would never stop.

_It's coming on Christmas  
They're cutting down trees  
They're putting up reindeer  
And singing songs of joy and peace  
I wish I had a river  
I could skate away on._

A/N: Well, I know it's sad but the song is perfect for them, I think. So I hope that everyone out there has a happy holiday season, and that you all have those you love with you. Much love to you all!


End file.
